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"Spreading Hope"was founded after the death by suicide of Greyson Spector in 2020. The mission to focus on de-stigmatizing mental health coupled with the unique focus on supporting research on diagnosis and treatment of mental illness made this cause uniquely meaningful. Collectively, our group actively strives to obtain 'peer-normalization'; to spread the notion that it is 'okay to not be okay'. Our team had many members participate in the "Walk for Hope" for 2 years and last year became energized enough to rreach the leaderboard and earn a team flag. The energy, fun and positivity that those who participated experienced is inspirational and truly personifies hope. Our goal is to make as great an impact as possible thanks to the incredible resource and organization established by the Foundation of Hope.

I am an 18-year-old whose name was plucked out of a book by my oldest brother Grey.

I’m glad I’m not ‘Huckleberry’. I detest attention & ‘Huckleberry’ would not have made that easy.

I’m quiet to a fault.

Euphemists tell me that is a benefit because I am a good listener. I try to ensure that is true, but I honestly like the silence because thoughts are clearest then and a calmness resides in its depths.

My humor is ‘dry’.

I’m told this so often I have grown curious as to whether funny can be wet and have concluded that moist humor must be the variety that makes others laugh till they cry. But I know there are times when I’ve accomplished that reaction with an arid quip, so I stand confused.

I am often told I look like my older three brothers, but I never see myself in them. Sure, my hair is brown. So are my eyes. But they look out without the green hues like Grey’s, darker than Cole’s and lighter and less energized than Cade’s.

Color matters a lot to my family because Grey changed everything.

This is the line that I write and erase and rewrite repeatedly. It is the reality of my life that I don’t want to be there and certainly don’t want to define me. But it has. And it does. And I can’t erase that Grey with his green-brown eyes is gone.

Everyone defines 2020 as the year of covid. And it is. But its impact is different for me. The virtual world I escaped to for over a year allowed me to avoid being ‘that kid’ - the kid who lost Grey.

In High school I formed A Suicide Prevention Club: I almost threw up when the idea was presented. All I saw was the spotlight, the focused attention emanating from eyes filled with pity - staring at me. I understood the value. I knew I needed the healing that could come from taking action to prevent this from happening to more people.

With "Spreading Hope" I have re-focused my efforts on the FOH b/c they are uniquely positioned to make real progress through research and action